Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
