I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
