i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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