The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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