Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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