my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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