He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Panties = found
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