Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
