Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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