32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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