Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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