let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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