Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
