oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
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he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
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Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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