Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
