ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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