you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
