omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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