One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
