I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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