you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize