Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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