It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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