Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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