Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
