I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
