Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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