every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
