The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Randomize
