So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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