just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i came on her dog
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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