I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
