If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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