weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Randomize
