Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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