You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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