let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
