i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
