I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
