What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
