I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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