make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
if only i could text you this smell
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
