I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
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Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
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Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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