I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
