I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
