You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
