john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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