My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize