I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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