I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
