I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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