you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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