i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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