I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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