he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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