No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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