i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
