did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
