i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
