i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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