so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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